Most professional massage therapists have gone through extensive training to prepare for their profession. A few years ago, all it took was for one to complete 100 hours of training and get a city and/or county license to practice and off you go, building a clientele. Today, in California, MT's must complete at least 100 hours of Anatomy and Physiology alone. A "Massage Practitioner" has only completed 250 to 450 hours including the required 100 hours of A&P. A "Massage Therapist" on the other hand, has completed upwards of 500 hours of study and clinical practice including the required 100 hours of A&P. The general public is not aware that there is such a distinction and requirement for certification in California. Elsewhere across the country, the qualifications vary.
What does this have to do with your communication and your experience with your therapist? Well, everything! Do you know whether he or she is a "practitioner" or a "therapist"? Maybe you don't really care. After all, some practitioners do a better job than some therapists and as long as the person is certified by the State, you are assured that they have had some kind of training. Your consult upon being led into session should give you an idea of the confidence and skill set he/she is working with. If you are more concerned about telling the therapist how to do the job, you might not get the full benefit of that skill set. You wouldn't go to the doctor's office for a check-up and begin to tell him/her where to start, how long to stay in that position and how to do the diagnostics and what to prescribe, so why treat your therapist any different?
You may begin by indicating to your therapist what your complaint is. Most people are stressed out and have fatigue in the neck and shoulders. Some may have had an injury or woke up in pain after tossing about all night in a hotel bed, airplane, among other issues. Some just love massages and want to relax. Others might not have physical pain, but may be in pain emotionally. Whatever the complaint, tell your therapist. Most importantly, let us know whether there have been any surgeries, diseases, open wounds, localized pain, handicap, varicose veins, etc.; tell us the things you don't like e.g. some don't want their face touched, some hate head massage or foot massage or the stomach is too personal, etc. Tell us and most of the times we will honor all. I say most, because we are great but not perfect.
In general, your therapist will "prescribe" a session based upon the information you provided. Many times a client will indicate a headache, for example, but does not realize this may be a referred pain and that the real problem is elsewhere. This is why it's crazy to arrive at a massage appointment with that headache, for instance, and insist that a therapist work on your head alone for an hour. A Massage Practitioner might be happy to oblige and some MT's will too, but those who are committed to a total body therapeutic experience will find this wish difficult to honor and may refer this client to someone else. This client will still get the best head massage ever, but might find that they don't feel better for long after the session ends. If you have had a massage and by the next day you're feeling like you need another for the same reason you had the first, then maybe your wish was honored, rather than that of your trained therapist. Tell us why you are here, then, let us work to address the probable cause of this complaint, not just "the symptom". Personally, being a natural intuitive therapeutic MT, I might be up on your energy before I take you into the room and I am always observing your gait and body language. I am processing what your body is saying and am not willing to ignore this information and spend the whole time working on "just your back and neck". You came to me for a healing of sorts and not just a shoulder rub and I need you to trust me and my skill set.
So you have told me what your issues are and your likes and dislikes and the session is off to a great start. I am hitting your knots but maybe going over them too fast (can sometimes be more painful) or too slow, or too deep...or too soft. You want to say something, but what? Maybe your therapist forgot you don't like your thighs worked on and started working on them. What if the hands slip and a boob happens to be in the way, or the work on the thigh is up so high it feels intrusive. Most men will pretend they can handle the pressure, but we don't want to hurt you. Sometimes your body will be asking for something you yourself can't handle and you need to say "uncle"....LOL
Some clients, rather than speaking up, will "huff and puff" (breathing) angrily, jerk their limb away from the therapist, show anger on their faces, ignore the therapist when they inquire of their comfort, and as soon as they leave the room they complain at checkout and/or leave an "insult" as gratuity. This is not "clear communication". All of this jeopardize the job and livelihood of the therapist, who many times is not aware they did anything wrong or had opportunity to fix the problem. More times than not the client misunderstands and your misunderstanding or imputing motives to therapists could land them in jail or fired, etc. For all we know, you could just be an "angry breather"; maybe you always have a scowl on your face when you think what you are thinking, or maybe you had a twitch when I tried to stretch your arm or leg and that's why it jerked away. I don't want to assume what you mean.
In this economy, many people have only one job to provide for their families and it's just not worth getting suspended, fired or going to jail for a "hand slip" or something we didn't do on purpose. Respectfully and confidently talk to your therapist, although you are vulnerable on that table in that tiny room. Make your discomfort known and give them opportunity to fix this as is their professional responsibility.
These are some things all therapists understand, but especially your intuitive therapist who has plugged in, committed and gone to work on your healing:
1. I don't like that; or That's uncomfortable.
2. Remember not to do my thighs (or whatever you don't want worked on).
3. That is too much pressure.
4. More pressure please?
5. I like deep tissue on my back and shoulders, but not on my legs.
6. Can you move a little slower? I'm having trouble relaxing at that pace.
7. Is there anything I can do to make the knots less painful as you work?
8. I don't want to be stretched (although I realize you're attending my range of motion).
9. Would you clean your hands before touching my face, please?
10. What do you mean by "focus on your breathing"?
11. Do you mind working on my legs and feet last when I turn over?
12. May I have a tissue please?
13. What are you doing? Or, what is the purpose of that which you are doing now?
14. That hurts unbearably. (A little pain is fine but we don't know what you feel.)
15. That spot's pretty sore, what channel is that connected to?
16. Is that a trigger point?
17. I am hot (or cold).
18. Is it normal for me to feel "this way" when you do that?
19. I like that a lot.
20. You can skip the legs and spend more time on my feet, hands and/or head.
Communicating like this during the session helps to keep the experience dignified. The client gets to exercise a measure of control, all while respecting the therapist and the work they are doing. Some of these questions seek to understand, and so provide opportunity for learning something new about your body, the approach and the benefits to look forward to. However, saying "that hurts" as soon as the therapist touches you will send various negative messages. Whether this is your first massage or not, you must know every therapist has a different grasp of the craft and has been trained differently. Even if you get the same therapist all the time, your massage should always be different, just as your energy and cause are sometimes different.
A new client indicated she had massages before, yet lamented at the "vulnerability" she felt at having to undress. (A sheet and blanket on a very warm and comfortable table is the norm for a professional establishment). I felt like I was massaging a delicate wall flower and everything was uncomfortable. She had knots around her scapula, complained of migraines, was on blood pressure medications, and had trouble sleeping, etc., etc., but she "didn't want to bruise" and honestly, my pinky finger smoothing over her knots "hurt" her. I could not be too gentle for her. At the end of the session she was very complimentary and surprised how good she felt. I am still not sure how honest the compliments were considering the constant interjections throughout the session.
Remember that honor and respect should be a two-way street and gratitude extends the circle of giving. If you frustrate the therapist, you are robbing them, as well as yourself. You requested service because you needed help. Please let us honor that in a loving, joyful environment.
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